"It came without basketball, golf or lego tables. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then DMP thought of something he hadn't before. What if Beer Madness, he thought, doesn't have to be in my kitchen? What if Beer Madness could still be bitchin'?"
-DangerMenParenting badly imitating Dr. Seuss
In this time on an unprecedented pandemic, it seems like everything has been cancelled. School, cancelled! Summer camps, getting cancelled! Spring sports, cancelled! Well there are some things that are larger than a pandemic. There are things that America needs, there are things that I need, and Beer Madness is one of them. This will be Beer Madness 9, (wait, Beer Madness IX...) and I'm not willing to have a gap in the history books on this. I will not live to tell my grandchildren about the year Beer Madness didn't happen. We will drink on and declare a champion.
But how you ask? This calls for FAQ:
Q: Isn't your state under a stay-at-home order?
A: Yup, we're making Beer Madness virtual by using Zoom and drinking virtually together. Also, this way we don't run afoul of the no social gathering greater than 10 order.
Q: What about Zoom security concerns?
A: If hackers want to watch a bunch of 40 somethings throw on a good drunk and giggle on a Saturday night, then they need better shit to do.
Q: How many beers are entered this year? And how does this work remotely?
A: We have a 15 beers. Through a series of stealthy driveway meetings and the local remaking of Cannonball Run we have ensured that all beers are represented in all locations.
Q: How do I follow along?
A: Twitter using #BeerMadness2020. We'll get going around 5pm on Saturday although there may be some pre-tweeting.
Q: What are the beers?
A: Brackets are available here, and here is the entry list sorted by beertestant.
Beerbecue Homebrew A Tripyl For My Love For You
Sierra Nevada BA Narwhal
Right Proper Diamonds, Fur Coats, Champagne
Oozelfinch Girls Got Gumption
Clown Shoes Lil Crispy Crisp Ale
Caboose Empowered
Brew Dog USA Clockwork Tangerine
Back Bay Bonfire
Three Notch'd Brother Barnabas
Foreign Objects Darktime Vostok Slumber
Alpine Nelson
RAR Imperial 1st Meal
Aslin Apizza
Ocelot Basement Seance
Lagunitas Willetized
Q: Can I fill out a bracket and predict what beer will win? I'm suffering from projection withdrawal with all sports being cancelled.
A: Sadly no, but you're welcome to tweet out any forecasts or objections to decisions by the panel.
Q: Will this be the most woke Beer Madness ever?
A: Yes, for the first time in Beer Madness history women are being allowed to vote in the early rounds. This is largely to avoid ties and arguing, but we can pretend it's part of larger social movement.
Q: Any trends to be aware of?
A: Stout is in this year with 5 of the 15 beers being big league mean dark beers. Also, it seems like we're very VA or CA based this year.
Ok, with me being under quarantine this year, there is a 45% chance I'll post a timely summary of what happens sometime next week. Until then, let the Madness reign!
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