My Fantasy Assassin

First, let me be clear, this not a blog post about Celaena Sardothian.  I know she's the GOAT of fantasy assassins, and yes I've read all 5008 pages of Throne of Glass.  If the 20 or so readers of this blog want me to dive into trashy fantasy novels, I'm here for it but you need to tell me either via comment, Bluesky, Carrier Pidgeon or Threads...

This blog post is about the person who is currently murdering my fantasy football season and that is AJ Brown.

I spent $58 (of my $200) for Mr. Brown as I expected the Eagles to be very good this year.  Mistakenly I thought they'd try to save Saquon for the playoffs and that Hurts would take a step forward as a passer.  The thesis has not played out that way.

When I spend top dollar on fantasy players, I'm not looking for huge variance.  I just want a guy who I can plug into my lineup every week, and not have to worry about it.  AJ Brown has played 9 games this season, and in 5 of them has scored less than 10 points...  Twice he's gone over 20 points and he's currently the 38th ranked WR in all of fantasy.  (He was WR #5 last year, and generally players get better...)  He's scored less points than his not actually related cousin Hollywood Brown, less points than Chimere Dike in Tennessee and less points than CeeDee Lamb who has played only 6 games this year.

I've been in the same fantasy league with friends since 2008 and I consistently have made the playoffs.  This year with two weeks to go in the regular season I'm on the outside looking in, and I am ready to bestowe the title of fantasy assassin on AJ Brown for murdering my season this year.

(The only bright side I'm willing to entertain about this is if AJ Brown is so unhappy with his role in the offense, he forces his way to New England to reunite with Vrabel.  If that happens, my 2025 fantasy season will be acceptable collateral damage.)